Im at strip club and am horny
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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