You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
