O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
