Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
