I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
