Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
