I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
there is glitter all over my balls
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