Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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