Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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