oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
