My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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