i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
