So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
where am i from again
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
