some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
