I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
