i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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