i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
