i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
