Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
