you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
