oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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