Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you will always have a special place in my vag
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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