a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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