My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
