I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
