Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
