soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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