We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
