I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
