4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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