i dont even know how to be here
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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