im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
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