ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
