is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
