Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
