Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
