i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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