i need an iv and a liver transplant
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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