i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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