In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
