Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
my poor anus
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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