he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
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