forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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