a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Still dying that you shit outside
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
