there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
