Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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