Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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