the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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