So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
