I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
