Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
