it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just high enough for therapy.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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