She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
