I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
